A Woman’s Kaleidoscope, Chapter : 1

“Teenage”, that word it-self defines the fun and adventure for 9 years. The reality that we have to live. So, this is my teen age story in a woman’s kaleidoscope in a flash back, of course. One more thing you need to know about me is that I had the biggest problem making friends in school and it is still the same.

Oh, the girls of my school were so pretty. They had got their brows did in 7th, waxed/shaved bodies, they could strip anytime and they won’t have a single flab or hair on their body, skirts on the right place on their waist, though my teachers asked them to stop folding their skirts to make it shorter but I always thought that was cool.

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That was not me as a teenager. I lived in a parallel universe. These popular kids did not even know me. I was a fat, chubby kid, I had problems making friends so I spent my recess time reading in the library in the middle school. I once got an avid reader award too. I used to wear thick glasses so while I was happily climbing the stage, smiling at my parents to receive my award from my Principal she said, “Aaj toh chashma utar deti”. That happened. Well. That was my life. My skirt was so long, it was below my knees and I am 5’3, IMAGINE..

I was traumatised with my awful experience in middle school but before  I could get over it, HIGH SCHOOL happened. I got popular for all wrong reasons. I tried to be friends with a lot of people and I did manage that pretty well (self-tap). I thought I was doing everything that a teenager does and all that my friends were doing but well “Parde ke piche karoge toh ache ho, samne karoge toh available ho”. Life lessons, kids.

I once with the most honest heart asked this girl who always hated me, “Why exactly do you hate me? We have never had a fight. I never tried to flirt with your boyfriends. What could possibly be the reason?” Like a typical 9th grader would question. Well, I got a really mature answer from that person, “Actually, I don’t even know. I just don’t like your face. I think you are a DUFF (designated fat ugly friend)”, said she. Big fat bummer, she actually said something in Hindi for DUFF and that was not very pleasant, you guys.

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All my teenage years I have tried to impress people. I’ve done it wrong, I’ve done it right. I’ve been judged, I’ve fallen and have been pushed. I stood up on my own or I have been given a friendly hand. There is no in between. There is no perfect way to be a teenager. I wish I had gotten the opportunity to ask my teenage pals that why did they ever judge me for all the bad things I did.

I was teen ageing, so were you. You did things you were not supposed to do and sometimes I did too. Why did we decide that her skirts above her thighs meant she wants a guy’s hand slipped in her skirt. No, this is not basic feminism shit. THIS IS WHAT HAS HAPPENED AND WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN.

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We as society have failed to provide each other with the best high school memories. The time we should never forgot. Indeed, we never did. All we can think of is how that guy we called our “bro” told his other bros that he has been given permission by me to slip his hand in my skirt. If you ask me about the biggest regret of my life, that would be to judge somebody in such a demeaning way that it broke the other person.

I remember once I took blame for this girl in my class for what she did just to prove to her that I am great and to get to be friends with her. Later that day she turned her back on me and convinced everybody to not to talk with me. That was the 7th grade. Imagine! You will be pushed but you have to get up. TODAY!

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People who are meant to stay, will stay. Guys who are meant to stay, will stay even if you don’t shave your legs and thread them brows. You’re probably 16-18, you’re hardly even there. Your high school life should be the life of fun and learning something new. Gossip, chat, make friends, fall and learn. Bad experiences are a must but don’t ever give anybody the right to tell your character by the number of guys you have dated, the length of your skirt, how tightly you hug someone or in how many seconds you finish that glass of wine.

You, my friend, you are a goddess.  Be BADASS!

Photo courtesy: Favim and Pinterest 

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