SELF HARM; NEHA GOYAL 

Greetings,

Big bang spot aims and focuses not just on entertainment but also on spreading awareness. 

This time we wanted people to know a litte more about self harm. Let us together understand how it feels to “self harm”


My hands are soaked in blood chambers
That were once inside my skin

Are now sinking through the floor of my

Bathroom tub and there’s a pool party

I’ve organized for me with drunken soul

And red blood tasting like cherry wine.

My wrists are slit wide open

To let you salt my wounds as you’d like

And savor the taste as I scream,

Screech because I’ve been hurting

Long before my skin knew the sharp needles,

Blades, knives and scissors,

I was hurting when I didn’t know

When I couldn’t reciprocate the hurt

Until my bleeding hands felt numb 

While my heart was still aching and that’s when 

I know the meaning my mind already knew

And my heart was always denying.

Those midnight mayhem when I feel the need

To feel and I get up from sleep and look for 

The sharp witted tools

To cut me up with

………………………drip…………………………………….

………………………….drop………………………………..

………………………drip…………………………………….

Blood falls on the floor covering up the white tiles

That had mud patches from one evening when 

I was all wet from the rain.

When I switched to the tools that could left imprints

On my back and let myself collapse

Like the waves in the ocean try to climb over the rocks

Fighting a war with herself and not settling 

Until she gets her hands on the surface,

The warmth, the ooze of blood through pores,

I could finally feel,

Hurting and that’s okay

Because it made me feel a little myself,

It made me feel like I’m the only soldier standing

At the warzone, with all my armor and suit on

And bullet holes running through my body

But it made me feel at peace,

The mind boggling overdosed crystal meth

Felt like a content and a swoon to swim through

The night, just like that.

The water droplets in my sink resonating

A clear voice, of chaos and madness resting at peace.

*Big bang spot in collaboration with Expressional Eden.

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